One can say that I used to be an avid fisherman. I guess one can look at any “hobby” as method to escape from “reality”, fight or flight the “reality”, etc.. So it’s not exactly important the definitions, you can’t take it out of larger context as if it’s some sort of “valid” point in history or time as indicative of something else. So I’m talking about the period between late part of 2000s to early 2010s. Anyway one of my favorite fishing spots was in Šilininkai near the bridge over small river called Veržė, Veižė, Veržas, Veižas, etc.. Word “veržė” in lithuanian means to tighten eg bolt, handcuffs, noose, tight spot, shoes too small, etc.. It was quite far from the home, one way 25km, but the way they arranged fishing permits and licenses in most of the area of this municipality you needed expensive fishing license. It does add up to considerable amount if buying it daily. That bridge marked the end of the territory of the regional park and beginning of interesting legal conundrum related to fishing license. On one side of the bridge you could fish for free and another side you needed a license even though it’s the same tiny river. Not only that. From their maps it wasn’t clear if end of the park area marks the bank or the river. If it’s a river, it means the bank is outside the park, meaning at least one bank should be license free and so on and on and on. Every inspector would interpret it differently. It’s a remote area, very few what you could consider as “locals” would come by. There were no people for miles. It’s few miles from Russian border of Kaliningrad Oblast. So border guards would pass with their jeeps daily multiple times. In a busy season in an early spring or autumn there would be lots of people from near and far. But overall there were just few what you could call more or less “regulars”, people who fish regularly. It would be very slow throughout the summer months. So at some point the guy i guess in his 50s started coming from Usėnai, village about 12 kilometers away, riding gravel road with patches of sand. I would think about it and feel sorry for him or others who undertake such journey. He was my namesake. He had this old bike. No fishing gear, just one cheap angling rod. He mentioned he used to be a drinker, now he is sober, he is in pension, not working, he is electrician by trade, etc.. I didn’t care – it’s of my business. But if he needed anything spare fishing hook, some fishing line, sinkers, bait, etc I was nearby and I would always share with him. He was very social, he would make contact with anyone, no problem, even though his language was laced with rough jargon or swear words. He wasn’t self conscious about anything. Very outgoing. He wasn’t into fishing the same way as me. He didn’t care about it, it wasn’t a source of “addiction”, “dependency”, “escape”, etc.. He didn’t care too much about gear, knots, equipment, etc.. I was more like catch and release type angler, sometimes I would give fish to him. He seemed like a good natured man. So he started coming often fishing more or less everyday. As time progressed he bought a backpack, fishing gear, clothes, motorcycle, etc.. He also said he was making some money selling fish to neighbors. It made no sense to me. It’s low value fish, silver bream, roach, perch, but hey it was different times and different place. He had a wife and I think a daughter. His wife was from Rusnė, so he would go and stay there with his parents in law as they had a house near the bank of the river in the center of the town, in what you consider very prime location. But he wouldn’t stress anything. Everything was clear and obvious to him. So I would meet him fishing in Rusnė as well. He wasn’t afraid to try prohibited methods of fishing eg something called TV screen or go into areas not allowed to fish. During the spring months there would be flood and roads under water. So his Chinese made 50cc motorcycle would constantly get some electrical problems due to water damage. Even though himself electrician by trade he would keep bringing engine to this guy Jokubauskas to respool or rewire.. This Jokubauskas family probably can be considered as some sort of “mate” of my parents from the time I was very little. They set up their shop near prosecutors office, claiming they inherited the land and building in this prime location, i guess serving more like caretakers as part of larger scheme. Something “strange” as if they are part of this department or that state security. But the fisher guy being electrician and constantly being plagued by this problem, not only money wise, but time wise having to travel to šilutė, wait for respooling, etc.. – he managed to figure something about it himself. He put some sort of new part preventing the current going backwards and it fixed the water damage problem for him. Thats how he explained to me. I don’t really understand electricity. But he was “thinking” man, solving problems, etc..
There was this another namesake from another village Juknaičiai. Also in his 50s. According to him he grew up in the area. He knew the area like palm of his hand. But for most part he would come to check as if he is curious about the fishing situation when he was coming to visit his elderly mother who was living in a homestead next house to the place my father kept one of his bee-gardens. It is expected that fishermen do that. They are always curious about methods, gear, luck, etc.. He often wouldn’t fish at all or would fish for half an hour, hour and leave. He was different “caliber” person, his wife was a teacher in local school, he didn’t have kids of his own. I don’t know what his “trade” was, he didn’t speak, look or act like village person. Intelligent. I was in my mid 30s at the time. We would joke that it’s strange that we three guys sporting quite rare name managed to end up in one place.
So once the guy from Usėnai is calling me on the phone asking me to do him a favor, if i’m going fishing to come pick him up. I don’t remember why, what was the reason. For me it’s like double the driving distance. I’m not sure if I’ve ever had been to his place before. Probably not. So I go to Usenai pick him at the grocery store, he already had something to drink from the early morning. Not drunk or wasted, but obviously not sober. For some reason he started drinking. That was strange. He hasn’t touched alcohol for years and years. So i’m not sure, but we probably went to his place to pick up fishing gear. He lived in a modest country house. Its a street with a row of such identical houses probably from soviet times. After we went to fishing spot, it was very crowded. Lots of people. It was busy season, either spring or autumn. So I find a spot, set up and fish. He is trying to fish, but he can’t keep himself together. He is talking with everyone, he is loud, he is making jokes, being “life of the party”, etc.. So after half and hour or so, he is asking me to drive back, he is unable to enjoy what he used to enjoy. Something “greater” than fishing was weighing on his mind. I was pissed. So on the way back he started talking, asking questions as if trying to understand something. He mentioned something about pushing his wife. I said of course you should be doing such thing, but I didn’t think of him that he is a violent guy. Anyhow I didn’t think much of it. Man is having some sort of issues and problems at home and thats that. Some time later, maybe the same year or next year I meet the other guy from Juknaičiai. I asked him where is the guy from Usėnai. He showed me a gesture with hand near the neck that he hanged himself, saying it as if it’s something normal, as if it was expected, nothing to worry about. So when I think back he probably called me asking me to take him fishing, because he tried to understand something about what is happening to him, trying to deduce or backtrack some of his history, his “circle” of acquaintances, etc.. Whatever was happening it’s not out of the question that he didn’t start drinking, he “fell back” as part of distorted thinking processes where drowning are grabbing onto straws in his case he thought maybe it might have been mistake he made where he caused whatever happening because he stopping drinking some time prior. I was probably a suspect, also under his “suspicion”, just like everyone in his whatever symptoms that was bothering him eg “schizophrenia”. So I’m not sure how his symptoms manifested, he didn’t tell me, I didn’t bother to ask, I didn’t treat him as if anything wrong with him apart that he wasted my time. Drinking is not exactly a symptom, it’s more like effect.
not finished yet
Reverse Engineering Gang Stalking 