Daily Affirmations with Google: I’m don’t be evil enough, I’m be good enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!

adamkus suk mada

By “people like me” I had in mind that people also have skin, body, digestive system, etc.. People are a lot like me. Please don’t blame google. It’s just a label. You have no idea what stands behind this, that or any other label. By their own words google is “unconventional” company, so conventions of conventional wisdom do not apply eg UN Convention against Torture, but for some reason Google organizes and attends lots of conventions, conferences and similar events.

“Don’t be evil.” Googlers generally apply those words to how we serve our users. But “Don’t be evil” is much more than that… The Google Code of Conduct is one of the ways we put “Don’t be evil” into practice…

What is the point of motto “don’t be evil” as if it’s something not obvious enough? It’s more like mantra if they are using it as contant reminder trying to transcend it. According to Brin: “Don’t be evil” is only half of it. There’s a “Be good” rule also. Just like word “conduct” which is also used in describing conductivity related to electrical resistance, B.S., etc.. Think of this beloved word “our” in a phrase “our users” where it not necessarily means some sort degree of ownership if it’s not used as label in its own kind. If you’re not one of users who belong to “our” caste maybe you’re treated as trespasser and such user is served not the dog food, but as dog food. Even though it’s publicly traded company you’re in private “property”. It’s very different shock and awe if you’re experiencing shocks by being jolted with AC or DC electrical current. They are the ones that supposed to be smart, wise, educated, etc.. Yet they are acting as if they are taking huge risks, they are just bunch of children when faced with some sort of “technology” entrusted at their fingertips. Continue reading

How I didn’t make my first million dollars (Part II)

So by now I had about three thousand of dollars. The banking system was largely unregulated and operated as some sort of pirate island and at that time many of the establishments advertised that they were paying very high interest for term deposits up to 10% or even more per month. But it was high risk situation, lots of uncertainty. So I was “conservative” put my money with guys who paid 6% interest per month. Later shortly before they went belly up moved money to “real” bank that paid 4% per month, but after situation started heating up I put the money in Vilniaus Bankas which later became SEB, aka bank that gave us current “president” of Lithuania. It paid very little interest. It was already real bank. Anyhow me and my girlfriend saw this advert hanging in the lobby of our faculty about summer work travel program in USA. I guess it was 1994. If it’s not for her I wouldn’t have taken part in it. She was instrumental in leading this horse to this body of water and that horse not refusing to drink out of it. Notice in English language in the game of chess horse figure is for some reason called knight? From my point of view she was someone who is very nice, very intelligent, very smart, etc… Very athletic – master of sport in ping pong, which I liked. Anyhow I went to USA to this nice remote hotel situated in Pocono mountains with heavenly name. Think of overlook hotel. Continue reading

Where there’s a will, there’s a way

Why did I use this title for this post? I think lots of people misunderstand this proverb if it uses meaning of the word “will” as in words related to testament, last will, last wishes, etc.. It’s like power or license to do something or act in the name of the dead to do something for the dead by those living left behind. A lever. Orders that must be followed. Unfinished business that “must” be finished. It’s something very stupid like that will left by Jesus about eating his flesh and drinking his blood as if Jesus left behind horns of plenty that were growing on top of his forehead. For the blind there is no way to verify what is the meaning of the word used against them. Anything they say can and will be used against them. It is especially tough with last wills and testaments. They are dead. Their wills are no longer valid. They took their will with them.

So few days ago I’m browsing through local news and there is this article about woman who was found dead in the forest with very cautious hints that she killed herself. Continue reading

How I didn’t make my first million dollars (Part I)

If making first million is the hardest, the opposite of that statement should be true as well – not making the first million is the easiest. But that doesn’t sound right. Probably because a priori statement is not what it seems. It’s about adjectives, that are like value of NFT in comparison to value of real money. Maybe it’s about word “make” instead of “earn”. Only governments can make money by printing or minting. How come dollar bill doesn’t say it’s money – it’s just a note, legal tender for all debts public and private. It’s something like IOU notes in Lloyd’s and Harry’s suitcase only issued by different authority. Maybe when millionaires talk about walking towards the first million that was already made for them they have in mind taking part in nation building adventures implementing the same old oppression by using new printing presses. Continue reading

What is google for some, for rest is go ogle, gump!

And I’m not sure word “rest” is not being used like in that phrase about peace RIP, but again it depends on the context. Maybe it’s about the rest of us and peace that will be acquired for the rest after some restless troublemaker is put to rest. I guess depending on the situation or situational awareness the blogging resembles narrative in movie “Forrest Gump” where protagonist after touched by the fallen feather gets activated as if feather was mighty pen itself only without ink made out of tar for tarring. Why would you tar, feather and incriminate yourself, unless you’re some sort of gump? Some people have immunity, nothing sticks to them. It’s just freedom of speech, unless you disagree with it. Sitting on far from full bench, no bar in sight, facing the justice of public, which is not exactly there to defend Gump, besides public is not exactly qualified to defend anything, entire life flashes through his gumpy eyes.

I tried to perform search on google trying to see how google looks at this blog. According to google I haven’t written a single post in the past year, even though in the past three months alone I wrote 19 new posts if counting this one. Looks like this blog has been blacklisted by google for some reason. Continue reading

Hummingbird that kills

There was this one strange event that I could never understand. I don’t even know how to call it – mobbing, harassment, prank, stupidity, etc.. Im talking about high-school in Lithuania in times of USSR, late 1980s. We were already young adults, in our mid to late teens. Probably about 15-16 years old. So there was this new girl in class that moved in with her parents from out of town. She was speaking this different dialect than ours. The teacher of Lithuanian language would make remarks how naturally and effortlessly proper, normative and wonderful is her speech as that’s how Lithuanian language is spoken in that region of the country. I think it was new girl that suggested and all other girls organized to perform this strange prank where they would hum this noise without opening their mouths trying to annoy the teacher or whatever was the objective of the targeting. I don’t know details. They didn’t discuss it with boys or maybe only with me. It was only girls. I overheard something how she or someone mentioned that new girl had success with this method in her previous school. Its as if she was trying to “earn” street cred with new class, showing, sharing and transferring knowledge or something like that. Continue reading

Footsteps of red shoe diaries

The earliest instance when I learned about existence of acoustic harassment was in Lithuanian high school, in times of USSR. In theory. Not sure when exactly. I guess it was sometime in the mid 1980s. It was something said by teacher to the class and it didn’t make sense to me at all at that time. It was class of Lithuanian language and literature. This teacher would often talk about all kinds of things in her class. Not sure if it was part of curriculum that day to talk about world war II, goodness of red army, soviet victories against fascism, nazi atrocities, but she was talking about one of prisons here in Lithuania used by nazis in times of war for holding inmates. No not the holocaust. Such word didn’t exist in soviet union. Probably one of the numbered forts eg IX fort. She said the guards would patrol the corridor and sound of their footsteps made by their heavy boots walking was a method used to torture prisoners held there. I couldn’t understand the method. At all. I didn’t question her or anything. It just bugged me. Didn’t make sense to me. It’s not something that can be called as torture if everyone affected indiscriminately even the soldiers and personnel on duty there. Continue reading

The site you thought you’d never find

It always bugged me this website that I found by accident in the beginning of 2014. It had been recently disabled, it no longer existed as website, only domain name was still active. Bugged me not only because of subject matter which is bizarre. What was strange that website itself was hosted on IP block part of Lithuanian SICN – State Institutions Computer Network used for providing IT infrastructure and services to central and local governments of Lithuania. The IP used in 2006 matches one used in 2014. Notice the name of that network omits word “Lithuania”. By default you assume it’s Lithuania, but if the state is not stated explicitly – the network by default is of the unknown state. Maybe it’s network of EU or UN institution. Is EU a state? Where is it? The domain name was registered already in 2002, but earliest content captured by archive.org appeared only in 2006.

The site used motto – “the site you thought you’d never find”. Everything in it is in English language, it’s for global audiences, nothing hints anything about Lithuania except the name of the main protagonist, which sounds like maiden form of Lithuanian female surname, coincidentally also the name of one of the richest women in the country. Continue reading

Every earl who owns a bird has an early bird

Title of this post provides an insight into alternative meaning to this famous proverb understood as importance of starting early to maximize your chances of success. Don’t be so fast. After opening can of worms It’s the earl who decides which bird is early enough to get a worm and which one is not. Bureaucratically speaking – any bird owned by earl is a personal property of earl thus all such birds are all equally “early”. It doesn’t matter if bird was there first, way before the other earl’s birds. From earl’s viewpoint it doesn’t make such bird “early” even though it does if looking at it from another point of view. Such bird doesn’t get it something about it. There is no need for “early” bird to be early, unless that is what earl wants. It something self evident. Thats why early bird gets a worm. But worm itself given to bird is not the indication of bird’s “earliness”. Maybe Earl is playing mind games with the birds, witnesses or observers of the sitution. Early bird “gets” it. Maybe even understands and can read into all the meanings of the word “worm”. According to Wikipedia Earl is a rank of nobility in England. In modern Britain, an earl is a member of the peerage, ranking below a marquess and above a viscount. A feminine form of earl never developed; instead, countess is used.

Now I want to talk about Dixie Chicks song from 2000 called “Goodbye Earl”. Continue reading

If your business is not on the Internet, then your business will be out of business

It’s a famous quote attributed to Bill Gates, one of the pioneers of the so called internet. There are variations of it eg If You Aren’t Online, You Don’t Exist; If it’s not on the Web, it doesn’t exist at all, etc.. I tried looking up something interesting on the internet and couldn’t find anything even mentioned about it even though it’s a public property located on public property. Talking about monument near the entrance on the grounds of Švėkšna psychiatric hospital. Technically it’s a department of hospital located 50 km away. It’s called sailors hospital. Maybe better translation would be navy hospital.

monument for doctors lenkauskas and morkaitis killed in 1992 in švėkšna.
monument for doctors Lenkauskas and Morkaitis killed in 1992 in švėkšna.

It’s a sculpture carved out of wood, solid tree trunk dedicated to tragic event where two doctors who worked there were murdered by a former patient. Details are few and scarce. Usually it’s mentioned as factoid when writing articles trying to depict medical profession as dangerous, unforgiving, doctors getting short end of the stick, medics experiencing violence, etc.. With such appeals to sympathy you also have to keep in mind distorted thinking patterns caused by doublethink “knowledge” of good and evil for example butcher while working in slaughterhouse experiences lots of violence (he is causing), policeman subduing a suspect would experience violence he is administering doesn’t matter how “just” or “justified” it might be, executioner performing death penalty would experience death too – up close and personal, similar story with witnesses, observers, spectators, etc… The loaded question is – is it personal, is it a business or is it a business as usual? Continue reading

There Was an Old Lady Who..

It happened in Romania in the year 2013. Story doesn’t say if she swallowed a fly, a spider that wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her, a bird, a cat, a dog, a goat, a cow, a horse, etc.. The lady by the name Valeria Iurescu was taken to the hospital because she sang non stop for 7 days straight. I don’t know why she sang for 7 days non stop – Perhaps she’ll die! Yes she died in 2017. But after short stay in hospital she was already released as vegetable. Here is a short clip from the hospital. Continue reading

Eye for an eye, but queer eye for the straight guy?

You see not all eyes are created equally. Some eyes are more equal than others. One queer eye is worth whole straight guy and his two eyes. And if word “eye” is used as a verb (like the meaning of word “glance”, “to take a look”, etc) the queer eye is priceless horn of plenty filled with straight guys. It’s an order to eye or in other words to look for an eye. But if you’re blind how can you look for anything? Veni, vidi, vici. If eyes of the straight guys can’t see in comparison to queer eye, the straight guy is blind. It’s straight eye is not an eye and queer eye is all seeing eye. Such eye is worthless in comparison to seeing eye. You know like cellphone that is not working for whatever reason eg you didn’t pay your bill. Among the blind the one-eyed man is king. Continue reading

Don’t hate the carny, hate the carnival game

Post title is deceptive as is always with security constructed around or out of commandments, rules, orders, carnal knowledge, carnage.. I was a carny. Sort of. And while in this line of work there were few instances of “stalking” that left tangible footprint. But I never mentioned it even though in timeline of acoustic harassment it overlaps. One time i think it was 2011 or 2012 i had to go to work in Riga, Latvia. Midway fair was setup in parking lot of shopping center called Alkor Plaza. As soon as i finished my shift i went to my car (toyota carina) that was parked near the trailers and trucks of the funfair, but right next to carnival stalls, but not in a way of public foot traffic. I think car of my boss was parked in front of mine, but he left that day back to lithuania. I think there were problems with permits, prolonged waiting period. It was my second time coming to this particular fair. So there was empty space size of compact car (Peugeot 307) between my car and the trailer in front of it. On the hood of my car there was quite a bit of liquid poured. I tried to wipe it with paper towel and noticed that the red paint of my car is coming off as well. That was very scary, paranoia setting moment. I’m in a different country. I’m all alone. I didn’t sleep all night. Early in the morning I moved the car to multi story paid parking space nearby that I found on the internet. I never repainted the hood. The car is still parked in the garage. The next time there was the midway setup in Zelenogradsk, Kaliningrad oblast in Russia. On the shore of the Baltic sea. I think it was summer of 2013. So once again we set up the equipment, there were problems with permits, only small rides were allowed to operate for the time being. Boss left. Not sure if it was the same day or the next. I spent my day attending cannon air blaster tent. After the shift I went to switch off electricity that was set up in the trailer booth of another attraction. The underneath of the switch was smeared with shit. Very scary moment. It’s a night. I’m all alone in the camper trailer. So this particular instance was very interesting as it’s very “refined” targeting. It leaves very little room for imagination as far as pool of possible suspects go. Very dangerous. Someone soon put ribbon of Saint George on the same amusement ride. But to tell you the truth i didn’t know what that ribbon meant at the time. For me it looked strange and thats it. I would be walking streets in Kaliningrad and sometimes notice that car door handles have the same ribbons. Just made me wonder. I didn’t take it off as it wasn’t in a way. It was on the side of the platform and stairs. Continue reading


In the 2013 I bought from ebay this through wall microphone in hopes of trying to figure out something about the ongoing acoustic harassment. Today I looked up ebay and they are still selling exactly the same devices. Price has gone up considerably.

So that was microphone that was used to record the strange event one night. Recording device was OLYMPUS WS-812 . So I spent about 250 euros for this “spy” equipment. And that is not counting other related expensive expenditures. For example i had to buy new 1000+ eur laptop as my previous 8 year old laptop was really struggling processing all those huge media files. The attempts are expensive if they do not achieve anything or very little in terms of payback ratio vs time (is money) spent. If you don’t learn anything about object of your investigation – your study is limited to learning and gaining experience playing with tools used as bait and toys to play you. Like throwing money in the wind. Continue reading

Knock Knock

This is couple articles about one criminal case that happened in 2014 in the same town that i’m residing. Articles are in lithuanian language.



It’s about harassment where someone who was living on what is implied is the main street and having their windows facing busy foot traffic sidewalk would be subjected to constant knocking on their windows by culprits who would run away. First article is about the guy who got annoyed to the breaking point where he ran out and caught and beat up what he thought was one of the perpetrators. He punched him in the face and slammed his head two times against the wall. He brought him home trying to figure out next course of action. He wasn’t sure if he should call police or go talk to kid’s parents. He decided to go to parents. But he wasn’t in a hurry. Before that he had to eat something, change clothes, etc.. While he was getting ready the kid’s mother was informed by her granddaughter about the situation. So she showed up and called police herself. Kid testified that he was going out with two of his friends. One of them knocked on the window, suddenly man ran out of the house, everyone ran. He ran too, not sure why as he didn’t do anything. The court found man guilty issued judgement taking in consideration the fact that man was 2 times previously involved in criminal matters and man is unemployed. The punishment – 30 days behind bars, 500LT (~145 Eur) fine payable to the mother and 86 LT (25 EUR) payable to government healthcare finances institution for treatment of kid in hospital. What is strange with this particular case that they do not mention the age of the accused man or the victim. Underage is not the age. One has to assume that man is not that old if he can outrun young kids. Continue reading

Gaslighting chamber

Few years before acoustic harassment began there was a “softening” phase which continues to this day where “mother” started claiming that someone secretly is entering into our apartment. Sometime before 2010. Around 2009. A bit earlier she started claiming that radiators are making some noises that is bothering. She would go on and on. I couldn’t hear anything. She even called building superintendent who took her seriously, came over together with another lady i think bookkeeper, they inspected and examined the “problem”. As far as strangers entering into the apartment she would arrive to this conclusion from vast amount of “signs” of vandalism left behind by these “vandals” as she called them. The signs that she claimed is evidence for most part was normal tear and wear of the furniture, furnishings, paint, clothes, etc.. She would see signs everywhere. Little dots, little holes, scuff marks, scratches, etc.. And she would connect those “dots” as if it was Rorschach inkblot test seeing all kinds of sexual innuendos and suggestions. She was adamant and very combative, tears in her eyes, threatening suicide, etc.. It didn’t help if I stayed at home for duration while she was at work – she worked at nearby M. Jankus school as teacher of English language. She would claim that vandals would enter while i was in balcony smoking and I wouldn’t notice them. What was interesting how she “found” a key outside. Not exactly sure how it fits the timeline. Possible that key was “found” before and was mentioned as something “odd”. The key fits the lock and would open the door to our apartment. She claimed she saw some big men fight outside and after altercation she found the key on the pavement. So she would change locks every few months. As “consulted” by someone, following orders, etc “parents” installed security burglar alarm system inside the apartment. Continue reading

If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?

The question is loaded implying that there was distance traveled from the past to the point “this” in the present. Following rules is different from following orders. For example when talking about my childhood it was always stressed how I constantly was sick with flu, cold, pneumonia, even word meningitis kept thrown around to show the urgency of situation, etc.. But my mother would never take me to hospital. There was this doctor (mackevičienė) who lived nearby and if there is a problem with my health my mother would go to that doctors house and she would perform doctoring at the privacy of her home. I guess none of it would be reflected in my official patient file in the hospital. Doctor wasn’t a family, wasn’t a relative, wasn’t a friend, nothing of this sort. Just a doctor who skirts the rules. And i don’t think she did it for the money. I doubt my mother paid her even a penny. So one way to look at it it’s something altruistic – she couldn’t refuse the help to the baby. Maybe there were problems with my papers. Of course it’s also matter of convenience who do you pick – doctor who lives 100 meters away or hospital 2 kilometers away? It’s the same doctor who works at hospital. Whats the difference? Hospital setting or private home? So there was this strange event in my childhood when out of the blue someone decided that it would be good idea to place me in sanatorium for children with tuberculosis. Continue reading

Bluebeard Cape

I used word “pedophilia” a few times in my blog. I’m going to talk only about events, something “strange” that happened to me early in my childhood.  So in Lithuania there is this famous Ventė Cape Ornithological Station – about 15 miles from where i live. It’s one of the first bird ringing stations in Europe still in operation – was opened in 1929. It something that doesn’t make sense. They are doing exactly the same thing for almost 100 years trying to make themselves look as if it’s something important for science. Anyhow it’s also something that is interesting to public. It’s attraction. Tourist site. So it was operational before soviet times, during soviet times and post soviet times. Open to public. They are giving tours of the premises, they have small museum, etc. Performing ringing on live birds, even allowing public to participate hands on, etc.. It’s something unconventional, interesting, etc.. So i was little boy when first time my “parents” brought me there with the rest of my siblings. Not sure how old i was. Maybe 3-5 years old. It was second half of 1970s. So everything went fine until there was this room with a telescope and the guy in charge was giving a tour of it. He would find something interesting in the far shore and allow to take a peak through it. He would invite kids and me to sit on his lap, but when you start looking through telescope he put his hand into my crotch and start touching and fiddling my penis. It was very uncomfortable. Keep in mind that it was room full of people. Parents standing 5 feet away observing everything. Of course i was brought up with the notion that grown ups can’t never be wrong, you can’t ever say even a word against an adult person, total obedience and submission, you were expected to understand everything without them saying a word, etc.. So i didn’t speak up verbally, but my non-verbal communication had to be visible. Anyhow few months later my parents are bringing us to the same place once again. Telescope again. Continue reading


The title of this post is fallacious analogy made about information society as castle to be explored with keys provided or made available to you. If you enter wrong room you’re no longer not guilty of mortal sin of knowing what you would know now. I guess open society is already step further as keys no longer needed as they do not open doors. You’re free to explore only doors that are open (to you) or opens (for you). How would you know if door is open? So human comes into the life as if society is one big castle. There are all kinds of castles of artificial worlds – language(s), books, movies, science, etc.. with more rooms than it’s humanly possible to even think of exploring. So when internet came into my life more than quarter of the century ago it was something very different. Information was used in very different manner, but in a way it was still similar since you still needed interface to access the information. So my approach to everything related to “castles” is very primitive on par with hunters and gatherers where I like a caveman hunt and gather information. So before i compiled database of through wall radars I compiled few other databases. First about 23 years ago there was this database of hacking tools and programs. I wasn’t a hacker. Not even a script kiddie. I was just hanging out on IRC channels or rooms and there were those rooms dedicated to “hacking”, but even though there were lots of nicknames present, but there was no activity whatsoever. There were other rooms about hacking XXX sites by request. It’s not exactly hacking. Sites that had member only section required login. Continue reading

Havana Syndrome

I noticed that it’s been a lot of “developments” with US diplomatic community affected by this mysterious acoustic problem all over the world. Flurry of articles, reports, etc.. They invented a new name for it – Havana syndrome as if Havana was a starting point. Why not “Šilutė, Lithuania syndrome” since this blog was started way before Havana story broke out? They even provided recording to illustrate how annoying is the sound. Pentagon urges all employees to report symptoms of “Havana syndrome”. What is important to understand that they are not exactly telling or showing anything except trying to create impression that diplomats, intelligence community, military, etc are people “just like you”, powerless, helpless, clueless, etc. If something is not making sense to you all you need to do is go to the doctors who have all the answers. Maybe so if they are “good” doctors. Your doctors are like the stories about doctors in UNIT 731 or doctors in nazi concentration camps. If they don’t have an answer they will doctor one just for you. If you can’t identify something flying above your head – just identify it as “unidentified”. Problem solved. Diplomats can’t carry a tune to save their lives. They are not the dancing pallbearers stuffing mass graves with cough coughing coffin dance, they are together with you and the tune being carried inside the coffin by some other jokers. Continue reading